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Monday, January 13, 2014

BBCNYE14: Day 13 Blogger Horror Story

credit to Parajunkee
Check out the masterpost here and the introduction by Parajunkee (hostess).

Day 13: Share a Blogger Horror Story

This relates a lot to what I was talking about with a couple others about blogger to blogger etiquette.  Insofar as Authors Behaving Badly or Commenting Trolls I haven't had a lot of issues (at least nothing Horror Story like).  By in large I've been lucky I suppose.

I'm going to be purposely vague because a) I don't want to call a person out.  That's rude and uncalled for and could start something.  This is just to illustrate what not to do. And b) I'm not entirely certain this blogger is aware of their actions as being as intrusive and frustrating as they are. I don't know the blogger except via signings or BEA, I'm certainly not good friends with them or can attest to what they are like outside of the blogging world.


It was a dark and stormy night...no wait wrong kind of horror story!  The day was actually pretty nice--a bit chill, but with my thermal on I didn't notice.  I was heading to a book signing in NYC with an urban fantasy author I adored (my dad in tow so we could hang out in the city together--we got lost multiple times and almost ended up as human cargo when we wandered too close to the docks...) and it was a pretty exciting one for me.  Its an author who isn't local and wouldn't be likely to show up at any of the trade conferences I go to.  Having this author there was a bit of a coup for my friend (who worked at the book shop he was signing at) actually.

I am generally a polite person when people approach me who seem to recognize me, so I replied when this blogger struck up a conversation with me.  Its what we do after all to meet new folk right?  Time came for the signing and after getting my books signed I wanted to hang out a little bit and talk to the author--there was a few of us asking him questions and just genially chatting.

Due to my lack of hearing in one ear I was standing near to the author, but not so much I was in their personal space (there was a people size spot between us in the circle).  I asked a question and as he was responding this blogger kept edging closer until they were standing between us.  I went to ask a follow up question and this blogger interrupted me, asking a rather asinine question.

Take note, there is a large difference between showing interest in an author you haven't heard of/read before and not showing any tact and saying "I never read this author's gender so I don't think I'd enjoy this but signed books are good to have right? :laugh:" (I rather paraphrased since the blogger rambled a bit).  I think if this blogger had shown sincere interest I wouldn't have become so annoyed.  As it was this blogger felt a great need to KEEP asking question after question, not really allowing anyone else to get a word in edgewise.

Take another note, there is a difference between dominating a chat with someone (author or not) in a group setting and being an active participant.  Interrupting, talking over someone, dismissing their comments--these do not make an active discussion flourish.  This is true online or offline really.

As it was I am not good with confrontations nor did I want to cause a scene.  I would not be that girl.  And if I'm being totally honest I wasn't certain how mentally adjusted the blogger was.  I had the uncomfortable notion that I was being ludicrously irritated by someone who couldn't help how they were. I was afraid that if I did call the blogger out I'd find out they were autistic or in some way mentally handicapped and again there would be a scene. (I'm not proud of this, but I think its important to remain as accurate to the event as possible).

Eventually it got to the point where I was completely cut out of the circle because I kept edging further and further away from that blogger in an attempt to keep my irritation in check.  After saying my goodbyes to my friend I left, feeling kind of frustrated and unhappy with myself. I had been looking forward to the signing so much, but I let someone ruin it for me.

What about everyone?  Any horror stories?