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Thursday, September 2, 2010

I'm with Team Zombie--and so should you!


Look I'm not trying to suggest to you on how to live your life or anything--that's way too passive for my tastes.  I am outright commanding you  to be on Team Zombie.

The Pros:
--You shall be ready for the Zombie Uprising (which is inevitable according to Max Brooks)
--The scientific probability of zombies is higher than those magical based creatures called Unicorns.  I'd lay my bets down on science reanimating the dead long before anyone can prove the healing properties of a unicorn's horn was based on truth.
--Zombies are cool right now so you're on the ground floor of trend-setting
--Zombies are completely unbiased--they don't care how tall, short, fat, thin, tan or muscled you are.  They're accepting of everyone equally.
--Depending on who's mythology you go with, Zombies give you a chance to interact with your deceased loved ones one last time before you chop off their head
--You won't be laughed at when you say you survived a Zombie infestation (well not the same way as if you said you survived a Unicorn attack...)
--Zombies don't like pink.  Or pastels.  Or flowers.  Or Glitter.
--Zombies have a sense of humor!

The Cons:
--There is the decomposition issue, but several authors have come up with spectacular ways to combat this
--Eating of the Flesh, this can be a bummer I admit, but if you properly protect yourself it won't happen
--BRAAAAIIIIINSSSSS, people like Hannibal Lector and he eats brains!
--Smell, put a little perfume on it
--Shambling shuffle walk, obviously you guys haven't read Zoe Archer's "Blades of the Rose" or Bianca D'arc's "Guardians of Darkness" series huh?
--Religion, well.  I can't help you there.  Religion has some mighty iffy ideas about a lot of things, Zombies are just the tip of the iceburg.
--Common sense, meh who needs it?

Did I convince you?  My sister said I should include pie-charts, but that's kind of old fashioned isn't it?  Well head over to vvb32reads for the Zombies vs. Unicorns smackdown to see what everyone else is saying and also to win a copy of Zombie vs. Unicorns (in which the Zombies rule by the by).